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I really don’t know how to say this any other way. My dog decided to talk to me the other night and he had a lot to say. It initially played like any other night really. Once again, I was tossing and turning, in and out of sleep. I was half awake, mulling over my job situation: I want to make money writing but I need an income more. Then the most bizarre thing happened. “Hey human Bob! This is your best friend speaking! Wake up!” Who the hell was that? It was a deep, low voice; strong and certain with a hint of a bourbon induced slur. Sounded like Dean Martin actually. I immediately sat up. It was pitch black. The radio clock blurred 3:53 in a dull crimson light. All I could make out was the shadowy outline of Parker, my trusty beagle, sitting upright at my feet. “Hey boy, did you hear that?” I whispered instinctively. “Someone’s in the house.” My vision was starting to warm up to the darkness. Parker just stared back at me, his head tilted, his long ears hanging to the side of his head like hand towels on a wall. He turned his head to the bedroom doorway, lifted his nose to the night and sniffed. He turned back to face me. “Don’t think so.” I swore Parker spoke but it couldn’t be. I mean his hound drawn lips seemed to move to the words I heard but that was impossible. “Who’s there?” I yelled into the night. “Whoever it is, I am warning you that I am at this moment retrieving my loaded double-barrel twelve gauge from under the bed. I will shoot you. So leave now and I want to hear the door slam behind you.” I made some dumb noises in a lame attempt to fool the intruder into believing what I had just proclaimed. I took the ruse to the next level. “Okay. I’m fully armed and about to call 911 from my fully powered cell phone. Oh yeah, strong signal, four bars. Oh yeah, this is going to be a very clear 911 call.” “You’re breaking me up. Put the phone down human Bob.” It was Parker talking. I was certain of it. Nah, it had to be a sick trick. “Okay, good one Steve. You wired up the dog with a little speaker. Very funny.” My brother Steve was known to go to great lengths to pull off pranks. But I was pretty sure he was at his apartment in the city, sixty miles away, God knows doing what, and at 48 years old, unlikely to suddenly bother me with a prank—it had been 25 years since his last one. But the mind scrambles to the most implausible scenarios when so duly challenged. “Don’t think so. Nope it’s me, Parker,” the dog mumbled. I was positive he spoke again. By now I was sitting straight up, leaning towards him. He just sat there and looked at me with those big dark eyes. His poker face was on. “Parker? Are you talking to me?” “Well I’m not talking to myself.” I leaned back against the headboard. He yawned. “This can’t be. I’ve got to stop watching Animal Planet.” “Listen, I’ve got something to say and I’m not sure how long this talking stuff is going to work so …” “You are talking!” I interrupted incredulously. “Should you want I bow wow?” “Holy cow! Parker you are talking.” “Yup. But I’m not sure for how long. So can I say a few things before …” “I can’t believe this.” “Yeah I know. Either can I but if you don’t mind.” I looked at him with a giant smile plastered across my face. Parker can talk. The dog was talking. Who was I kidding? It had to be a prank. He continued. “I’ve been listening to a lot of that talk radio and that C-SPAN channel you watch while you write. I’m here to tell ya I don’t like what I’m hearing.” “You’re kidding me right?” “Afraid not.” Oh this was good. I was really hallucinating. Talk-shmalk, I had a few nagging questions of my own. “Hey, can I ask you something before you get to your stuff?” “Make it quick. I haven’t got all night.” “You like smell things a hundred times more than we do, right?” “Four hundred.” “Okay, four hundred. Wow! Then I really wonder about this.” “Yeah I know. Why do we like to sniff every morsel of excrement or yellow patch of urine we encounter on our walks?” “Now that you bring it up, yeah, why? It must smell like the inside of Dick Cheney’s or Ted Kennedy’s septic tank? And you know how much crap they’re filled with.” “That was a funny one human Bob. But it isn’t like what you smell. We pick up a lot more notes. It’s a broader pallet if you will. We don’t smell stink. We smell identity, mood, and illness. For instance, you know that crazy cairn terrier down the street?” “Yeah.” “She has stomach cancer and her humans don’t have a clue.” “You are kidding me?” “She probably has less than six months if they don’t get her to a vet soon.” He paused to lick his right front paw. “Yeah, and another thing. Don’t take me out at nights for awhile.” “Why?” “Cause there is a rabid possum living under the porch. That’s why.” “You know this from the smell of possum poop?” “Excrement.” “Whatever.” “Yup.” Parker yawned as if bored. “So is that it? Can I say what I need to say?” “Well there is that thing you do with that licking your, you know, your …” “Penis?” “Well, yeah.” “Jealous are we?” “Well, it’s just that …” “It’s all about keeping clean. Nothing pleasurable if that’s what you’re driving at. Nothing like what you do with your hand. By the way, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t pet me afterwards. Nope, no pleasure; it’s all business. You made sure of that when you had me “fixed”, remember. Thank you very much.” “Oh yeah, sorry about that. I had no idea you knew any different.” “No idea my butt. I’ll ‘no idea’ ya.” He paused again to lick his right paw again and then continued. “But I don’t hold it against you. We don’t hold grudges. Heck, if we did, we would have mauled most humans dead by now. Which brings me to why I am talking to you.” “No grudges. Really? I mean that “fixing” stuff is pretty serious. That’s pretty good if that doesn’t bother you.” “You done? Can I get to my concern?” “Sure. Sorry. Go ahead.” “How can humans be so smart supposedly, while they single handedly are destroying the Earth?” “You mean global warming?” “It’s more than that. It’s the air. It’s the water. It’s the dirt. It’s the forests. It’s the killing. It’s the anger. It’s the hate. It’s the grudges. It’s the fear. It’s everything.” “Oh come on. You’re being a little dramatic.” “We don’t know dramatic.” “Well give me examples of what you mean.” “First of all, the air is filled with danger. Dogs, cats, birds, animals of all kinds can smell it. It is our biggest topic when we get together.” “I don’t smell a thing.” “Yeah, that’s part of the problem. And you can’t taste the troubled water either.” “Scientists don’t seem to be complaining. So I should be listening to a dog?” “We have no agenda. Dogs call it as they smell it.” “ ‘call it as they smell it’; I’m suppose to just accept that?” “Yeah, there is a lot you should just accept.” “Oh yeah, like what else?” “Well, and here is what I think is the crux of the problem, you keep choosing the wrong alpha humans.” “What?” “You’ve got this alpha thing all wrong. Just because animals order their packs based on physical size and strength doesn’t make it so for humans. We do it because we are simple. You do it because you are thoughtless. That’s what we, and I think it is fair to say I am speaking for all animals, don’t get. Humans are able to think things through. But they never do. Well, that’s not completely true; some have but they are mocked or marginalized. An alpha dog barks and gets all puffy, like that wacky shepherd Sarge from around the block. The worst he can do is break out of his electronic fence and charge one of us. But you humans take it up a notch.” “Can you give me a for instance?” “God there are so many. Let me see. Okay, you’ve elected a president who pounds his chest and walks around like a gorilla with its arms all out to the side, all tough and all, carrying on with ‘bring it on’. When he jumps the fence, he brings tanks and bombs and humans loaded down in weapons and in body armor. Meanwhile, you have alpha males all over the place, flexing their muscle in their packs, threatening to obtain nuclear weapons, the great equalizer, giving the president one excuse after another to hop the fence. It’s nuts. And I for one am telling you, you’ve got it all wrong.” “Well, I don’t know what to say.” “You don’t need to say anything. Just start picking the right alpha humans; humans whose visions see beyond fighting, whose hearts hold no grudges, whose thoughts and reasons are not the products of testosterone, whose collective knowledge is rooted in the concept that true peace is never the consequence of war but the outcome of constant learning, negotiating and adjusting.” “This is what you want to tell me? Nothin’ for nothin’ but it’s a little heavy for a little chat with a dog at 3:30 in the morning.” “In a nut shell, yeah.” It was hard to accept this from my beagle. I mean, he’s a dog; a sleeping, eating, sniffing, crapping dog. I was chalking this whole episode up to stress. I was apparently snapping. “That’s it. I’m pretty much done. Just one last thing while I have the chance.” “What? World hunger? String theory?” I asked sarcastically. “You get the right alpha humans and the world hunger thing will take care of itself, smart ass. As far as string theory, who do you think I am, Hawking? I’m just a dog. No it’s more pedestrian than that, something I think you can manage.” “Then what, already?” I asked impatiently. “You know that thing you do occasionally where you empty the dish washer in the buff.” “Ummm … yeah I guess.” “Put some clothes on. It’s disturbing. I’m beggin’ ya, please!” “All right, but only if you lick your privates in private.” “I’ll see what I can do. No promises.” “So this is it? No more talking? You know we could make a fortune on Letterman with his stupid pet tricks.” “It’ll never happen. You see, this is a one time deal. Not sure why or how this is happening. Maybe that God guy is involved somehow. All I know is that when it is done, it is …” He abruptly stopped talking. “Parker?” Not a grunt. He yawned and as he did he stretched his front legs out and spread across the foot of the bed, his ears resting flat on the blanket. “Parker … are you done? Is that it?” He slowly closed his eyes and floated off to sleep. “Parker … just like that?” He began to twitch; in hot pursuit of a fox I imagined. “Holy smokes. I must be dreaming myself.” I curled back down under the safety of my covers, scratched my butt and thought about the conversation I had just had with Parker or myself or both. I sniffed the air. It smelled fine to me. What the heck was he talking about, ‘danger in the air’? It had to be a dream. As I drifted off to sleep, I thought about getting a real job real soon, apparently this writing stuff was getting the best of me. I also made a point to remember to talk to the owners of that crazy cairn terrier. I thought it was the least I could do. One can’t be too dismissive of the unexplainable these days. penis enlargement operation free natural penis enlagement vimax penis enhancement pro solution pills penis enargement system vimax enlargement free penis pills sample penis enlargement tool enlargement free penis pill sample

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Women can orgasm several different ways, via clitoral, vaginal, and of course the G-Spot, the latter can give her a massively satisfying orgasm if stimulated correctly. Here we will look at how to find it and give your partner immense pleasure once you do! Where is the G Spot? The G-Spot is the area to target for maximum sexual arousal. You will be able to help give added pleasure and a mind blowing climax to your partner if you can locate and stimulate it. The G-Spot is essentially a bean shaped area of nerve tissue, located about halfway between the back of the pubic bone and the top of a women’s cervix. The size and location of the G-Spot will vary between women, but it usually lies about 1.5” to 3” inside the vagina. This area inside the vagina has a different texture; it’s ridged, not smooth like the rest of the vagina, and when aroused has a spongy feel. The G-Spot is not easily located. Sometimes even women have a hard time finding it and some don’t even believe it exists, but it does. All you need to do is to locate it and arouse it and with a little trial and error between you and your partner you can. Locating the G Spot To explore and find the G spot, have your partner lie down, knees bent and feet flat on the floor or bed, with a pillow under her buttocks for comfort. Insert your fingers into her vagina towards her navel. This will be between 1.5 – 3” inches inside the vagina to find the exact spot. Press with the fingers against the front wall of the vagina. As it's surrounded by tissue and deep in the vaginal wall, you will need to apply a little pressure. When you finally hit the right spot, it will swell the same way a penis does. Slide your fingers from side to side. Have your partner tell you when you hit the right place and you she will know, as you will see the reaction when you hit it! G Spot Technique When you have found it move your fingers in even circles all around the inside of the vagina walls. It generally feels best for her if you keep consistent, firm pressure along the entire length of the vaginal walls and use a steady rotational rhythm. Stop rotating your fingers and rest your fingertips on the ridged area of the G Spot. Then move the fingers in and out and do rotational movements to keep hitting the spot. Finding a rhythm is what you are looking for here; keep moving the fingers in and out and around constantly hitting the G Spot. You can give your partner even more pleasure by licking her clitoris and stimulating her G-Spot at the same time, to give her an amazing climax. Stimulating the G Spot to the level where it will ejaculate requires three components: 1.Time: Needs to be taken to work your partner up 2.Gentle attention: Listen to your partner and find out what gives her pleasure. 3.Tapping: Keep constantly tapping the G-spot while you are moving your fingers. Penis stimulation Penises curve and the ones that curve upwards are most likely to hit the G territory. However if your penis curves to the left or the right, all is not lost,There are options! If your penis curves to the left, right or to the south, you can position yourself in such a way that your penis hits the spot i.e you need to be in a position where your penis points north. For example, if your penis curves to the side. You lie horizontally, she lies vertically and you gain the same impact and will be able to hit her G Spot. If your penis curves downwards, place her on top of you but facing the other way, you will see her buttocks and then move to hit the G spot. Other methods of stimulation There are a number of adult toys such as vibrators etc that are designed to hit and stimulate the G Spot and the huge variety out there means there is one for every women. Finally… The G Spot is there in women all you have to do is find it and stimulate it to give your partner huge pleasure. There is a lot of mystique related to the spot but to find the G spot and give your partner pleasure is really all about communication. She will be able to guide you, all you need to do is follow her instructions have patience and find out what’s right for her. If you do, you will add another dimension to your relationship and your partner will be very grateful for your effort! herbal natural penis enlargment penis elargement testimonials pnis enlargement technique penis enlargment pill magna rx semenax vigrx penis enlargment result pennis enlargement pills review guide to pnis enlargement enlargement free penis pill sample

Plastic surgery generally refers to medical operations that mold or shape human features for esthetic or functional purposes. Contrary to what the name may indicate, plastic surgery has nothing to do with modern plastics. In this context, "plastic" is based on the Greek word "plastikos" which means to shape or to mold. Among the most common plastic surgery procedures are the following: The ABDOMINOPLASTY, more popularly known as the tummy tuck, removes excess fat from the stomach which serves to flatten and tighten the abdomen. The procedure takes two to five hours and patients can be back in circulation after two to four weeks. Common side effects include temporary pain, numbness, soreness and swelling. BREAST ENLARGEMENT is a procedure that involves the insertion of inflatable saline implants into the breasts to enhance their size. The operation takes only one or two hours and the patient is back on his feet after a few days, although the breasts remain overly sensitive to touch for three to four weeks. Common side effects include temporary soreness and swelling, change in nipple sensation and bruising. If breast enlargement is concerned with size, a BREAST LIFT is concerned with shape and is undertaken mainly to raise sagging breasts through the removal of excess skin and sculpting of the nipples and tissues. It is a one to three-hour long operations that sometimes leaves scars that heal after several months to a year or remain permanently. Patients are often back to work i a week or so. A CHEMICAL PEEL restores wrinkled or blemished skin by peeling away the top players of the skin with the use of a chemical solution. Although this is usually an outpatient procedure, a full-face phenol peel requires a one or two-day admission. Among the side effects are acute sensitivity to the sun as well as permanent lightening of the treated area and permanent loss of the ability to tan. COLLAGEN INJECTIONS, also known as fat injections, are used to plump up facial skin that has sunk due to age as well as to add fullness to the lips. It is a simple operation that can take 15 minutes to an hour and recovery is almost immediate. DERMABRASION is a scraping procedure aimed at removing facial scars or wrinkles by scraping the top layers of skin with the use of a high-speed rotary wheel. It only takes a few minutes and patients can go back to work in a few weeks. Side effects include an acute sensitivity to the sun and the loss of ability to tan.