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While not everyone likes feet, some men find them highly erotic to touch, lick, stroke, and look at. Is there something wrong with them? Absolutely not. The treasured foot The foot represents another erogenous zone for the foot fetishist. Just like the breast or the penis, the foot is a piece of art on the body. It has curves and delicate zones. It can respond to hard and soft caresses, while also remaining hidden much of the time. A foot fetishist noticed the curve of the ankle into the heel, the arch of the foot as it sits in a high heel, and the perfect alignment of toenails. And he or she wants to worship those areas like any other erotic zone. Just like you would see a bra or a corset on a woman’s body, foot worshippers like to see feet with open toes and lots of straps. Platforms make the feet just out of reach, and all the more alluring. Pedicures and perfumed feet are just other ways to make a foot fetishist weak in the knees. But some foot fetishists like the natural smells and scents of the foot. And that is as erotic to them as the musky scents of sex from the genitals. Symbolic feet And it’s not just the physical appearance that gets many foot fetishists going. Feet also have the subtle reference to servitude and submission. The appearance of a high heel can send the fetishist into erotic fury because of the implications of having to submit to someone else’s will and desire. The clacking of heels always used to tell you when the teacher was coming back to the room. With a blindfold on, the heels tell the tale of a mistress coming back to her ‘slave.’ Feet in high heels imply power over the man. A woman who wears platform boots is in control of the man’s desires because he wants to touch the feet so badly. But she keeps them hidden until the man submits to her whims. Play time The feet can be caressed and fondled just as any other erogenous zone. Some men like to tickle and stimulate the feet with feathers to see the way they move and twist. Because the area is so sensitive, the person who is attached to the feet may find that what once caused laughter now caused desire. A lot of men who like feet will suck on the toes individually in order to simulate oral sex. This can be highly erotic for the recipient as the sensitive areas between the feet can give both pleasure and also pain. Imagine trying hard not to laugh while someone licks and sucks on your toes, but at the same time, you feel the stirrings of an erotic lust. It can be amazing. Some foot fetishists like to incorporate the foot into intercourse. By using the toes or the point of a shoe to gently stimulate the penis and the scrotum, the fetishists can feel intense feelings of pleasure. Some foot lovers can only experience orgasms when the foot is utilized in lovemaking. And some guys even find the shoes themselves erotic and stimulating. They see erotic zones in each of the parts of the shoe, rather than the actual materials. The heel is erotic, the sole is erotic, and the point of the toe is erotic. Decorations To make the feet even more appealing, high heels are the most often requested shoe. Second to that is the platform heel that created a high arch in the foot and a sleeker line in the leg. And just like any other tease, the covering of the foot makes the man hungry to see what is underneath. You might also want to dress up the lower leg with stockings or socks that highlight the object of his desire. Foot fetishism is completely normal and healthy, so there’s no need to worry. Dress up your feet today if your man wants to celebrate the ten little toes. And don’t forget the heels. For more information about lingerie please have a look at this link:Cheap Trashy Lingerie | Exotic Lingerie prosolution penile enlargement pills penis enlagement tool buy place vig rx penile enlargment device natural pnis enlargement exercise penis enlargment surgeries vimax penis enlargement photo penis enlargement video
Tantra is a spiritual tradition that originated in India some 4,000 years ago. It is a way of life that celebrates and strives for the union of body, mind, heart and soul. Tantra is a form of yoga. Yoga means union. The ultimate purpose of Tantra is the union of lovers, and ultimately union with the Divine. In the Tantric tradition, sexuality and spirituality are joined. Lovers actually invite God into their bed! Many cultures have a variation of this challenging and delightful practice, the Taoists in China and the Cheyenne in North America. There are differences in these practices, but all forms of sacred sexuality share the intentional cultivation and use of sexual energy for spiritual growth, healing, creativity and enhanced pleasure. The practices of Tantra were first introduced to the west in the 1800s, but a Tantric revival in the ashrams of India during the late 1960s has led to a gradual popularization of these practices in Europe and North America. Recent testimonials by celebrity musicians and movie stars like Sting and Woody Harrelson have promoted it and Tantra is becoming the sexual learning of choice for those who want to have it all: a passionate sex life, a healthy body, and spiritual growth. Tantric lovemaking involves breathing exercises, muscle contraction exercises, sound, visualization, affirmations, creating a sacred loving space and other ceremonial practices, meditation, sensual massage, and sexual play. In order to build a high sexual energy charge and to move into ecstatic states of divine connection Tantric lovers extend lovemaking over several hours, experiencing extraordinary levels of pleasure along the way. Part of the delight of Tantra is that you can continue to learn and advance throughout years of practice; it is never-ending in its potential for growth. At the same time, it is a practice that yields immediate results. You can experience a difference in your lovemaking right now if you follow these nine simple steps. Tantric Loving Step by Step 1. Intention Regular lovemaking has a goal, orgasm. If you both come at the same instant, many believe this is as good as it gets. However, this approach often results in a great deal of frustration and performance anxiety. With Tantric sacred loving there is no goal, but there is a purpose, union. Your intention is to merge with your lover in all aspects, body, mind, heart and soul, not just body. You can help this along by looking at your lover differently, by seeing your partner as a god or goddess, as a living expression of the divine. Look for the glory, the beauty and the wonder in your playmate and in yourself and let that shine. 2. Creating a Sacred Loving Space Set the mood; transform any ordinary space, bedroom, living room, etc., into a sacred space. It takes only a few minutes and costs little or nothing. The important thing is your intention, not the specific items you use. First, clean the room; vacuum, dust, and put away any clutter lying about. In the evening dim the lights and use lots of candles. Bring in plants or fresh cut flowers. A bowl of fruit is very sensual. You may wish to have a bottle of wine to share. Bring special objects that have emotional importance for into the room. Make up a lover's bed using your finest clean linens (silk is exquisite) and have lots of pillows handy. When you have finished creating the space, take a few moments to purify it energetically. That means consciously sending away negative or fearful thoughts and feelings, and inviting in those that are joyous, passionate and safe. Create your own rituals with sweet grass, incense, and musical instruments. 3. The Lover's Purifying Bath Cleanse each other in preparation for your joyous union. Wash away the dirt and cares of the world. A hot bath with essential oils and bath salts is perfect, especially if you can both fit into the tub at the same time. A shower is the next best thing, but perfectly acceptable. The essential thing is to be squeaky clean. After all you will be eating off that skin! Make the bath a slow, luxurious affair giving complete attention to your lover. Wash and dry each other with playful abandon. Men shave or trim facial hair and apply scent. Women apply their best perfumes and lotions. Sensually prepare your bodies for the delights ahead. 4. Honor, Respect and Permission Trust, surrender and opening your heart are essential if you want to reach the heights of bliss. It is not just technique that will get you there. You must join together as loving equals on the sexual journey. Men, think of the yoni (vagina) as a potential opening, don’t ever take your lady for granted! Speak softly how much you adore, love and respect her as you gently blow on her ears and nibble on her ear lobes. Let her know that you think of her constantly and how strong your desire is to make love with (not to) her. Also, let her know that you invite her to awaken sexually and to express her sexuality fully. Let her know that you are NOT caught in that tired old cultural conditioning that still insists "good girls" do not enjoy sex, the Madonna/Whore split. Make her believe you when you tell her that you know she can be all she wants to be: a successful career woman, a respectful daughter, a faithful wife, a caring mother, a passionate lover and a sincere spiritual seeker all at the same time. Tell her how beautiful she is, how wonderful she smells, and all the things you appreciate most about her. Finally, ask permission to be her passionate Tantric lover. Ladies, let your man know that he is safe! He may act macho and tough, showing little emotion, but inside most men are afraid of emotional intimacy. The tougher a man acts the greater this fear of trusting and surrendering will be. Let him know that you admire his strength, but that it also turns you on when he allows himself to be vulnerable by showing his feelings. Tell him how handsome he is and how talented. Mention all the things you like most about him. Tell him why you love him so deeply. Tell him how much you think about him when he is away, and how you have fantasies about making love with him and touching him when he returns. Make him believe that you really want him sexually. Finally, ask permission to be his passionate Tantric lover. 5. Foreplay Two simple ways to tune into each other are harmonizing your breathing and gazing deeply into each other's eyes. By matching your breathing rhythms and making soulful eye contact you connect emotionally and energetically as well as physically. Begin to explore each other's bodies with wonder, lust and playfulness. Remember, in Tantric sacred loving there is no goal. You are not trying to get somewhere. Each touch is complete in and of itself. Once you master how to work with your sexual energy both lovers will discover they can have orgasms just by touching fingers together, or looking into each other's eyes across a crowded room! So men are not in a hurry to get at the woman's breasts or into her yoni. When touching her body, start at the extremities, fingers and toes, and work in toward the hot spots. Go slowly! Generally men enjoy having their genitals touched at any time, but women usually only enjoy having their breasts and genitals touched after they are already sexually excited from other touching, stimulating conversation, or emotional connection. Make sure the woman is well lubricated before any attempt at intercourse. If possible, help her to have a clitoral orgasm before moving on to intercourse. 6. Intercourse Five to fifteen minutes of lovemaking is usually not satisfying for women. Men can learn to delay ejaculation so that lovemaking can be extended for hours. A man can delay ejaculation for weeks or months at a time, not just during one lovemaking session. A man who masters his ejaculation response can separate orgasm from ejaculation and become a multi-orgasmic-man! Such a man can last long enough in lovemaking so that his female partner will have enough time to also have multiple orgasms. Although Tantric loving lasts several hours, this does not mean you are having active intercourse during that entire time. Intercourse is interspersed with touching, oral play, quietly holding each other, dancing, massage, etc. It is a good idea for a man to allow his erection to subside every 30-45 minutes to exchange the blood supply and recharge his oxygen and hormone levels in the lingam (penis). 7. Moving Your Energy: The Passion Pump Riding the wave of bliss happens when the lovers become totally aroused sexually, maintaining that arousal for a period of time. They build up intense hot sexual energy. For the man, if this energy has nowhere else to go, there will be such great pressure in the prostate, that it will go into involuntary spasm and ejaculation will end the lovemaking. However, with a combination of breathing, relaxation, and muscle contraction exercises both men and women can learn to circulate sexual energy through their own and their lover's body. Ultimately the ego boundaries disappear and the lovers become one in ecstatic union. The muscle contraction exercise is very simple. If you were urinating and stopped the flow of urine in mid-stream you would be contracting exactly the right muscles in exactly the right way. This squeezing and relaxing of muscles around your genitals is called the PC Pump. It's the first and most important exercise in learning to circulate your sexual energy. At the peak of sexual arousal, either during intercourse or manual/oral stimulation stop your normal lovemaking movements and focus on moving the sexual energy that's pulsing in your genitals. Move it up and through your body. Use slow, deep abdominal breathing to keep your body relaxed. Add the PC pumping action and visualize moving energy up your body in a ball of fire or a wave of light or a current of electricity. Through your eyes, your hands, your genitals pass this powerful force on to your lover. At first, this may seem difficult because we are not accustomed to paying attention to our internal energy. With practice, you will be able to recognize and direct it. 8. Afterplay Regular lovemaking usually ends (often abruptly) when the man ejaculates, but Tantric sacred loving often ends while the lovers still have desire. This assumes the man has some mastery over his ejaculation response so that ending lovemaking is a conscious choice, sometimes including ejaculation, sometimes not. With Tantric loving you wind down your lovemaking with slow caresses, words of endearment and honoring each other with food and drink. 9. Sharing Wine, Food and Other Sensual Pleasures The sharing of good food, wine and other intoxicants, sensual massage, dressing up in costumes and playing sexual games are part of the ancient Tantric tradition. While Tantra is serious, it need not be heavy. Lighten up; be playful, lusty and daring! Tantra lovers know that they are personally responsible for their own sexual fulfillment and their own spiritual progress. This may be especially important for men. Many men experience a great deal of performance anxiety. But even the greatest, most sensitive, highly skilled Tantric lover cannot make a woman have orgasms. She must be able to go to that place in herself that is orgasmic. Sexual/spiritual ecstasy has little to do with control. It requires trust, surrender and letting go. Both lovers must learn to do this. If there is some psychological work to do before you will allow yourself to open in this way, then get on with it! In the meantime, please each other with the preparation, serving and consumption of fine food and drink. Lavish each other with touching in sensual massage. Dress up (and down) for each other. Take on different personalities with different costumes; wear masks. Play and laugh together. Celebrate your spirit through your sexuality. Open your heart. Let your lover in and your love out! penis enlargement tool vimax best penis enlargement surgery best penile enlargement surgery magna rx pill easy elargement free penis surgery way free penis enlargment pills cheap penis enlargement pills penis elargement procedure herbal pnis enlargement
The causes can be physical or psychological. It is also possible for an initially physically led cause for impotence to attract psychological issues too. Physical Causes for Impotence or Erectile Dysfunction 1) Brain Damage If the head had suffered trauma and/or brain has been damaged, then there is a possibility that the signals required for a healthy erection will not occur and impotence will result. 2) Diabetes There is a higher possibility that someone with diabetes will suffer with impotence also. Conversely, and loss and or an inability to maintain an erection may be an indicator of diabetes. 3) Glandular Glandular issues and those connected to the thyroid may have an adverse effect on love-making and lead to erectile dysfunction. 4) Drugs Some drugs, both prescriptive and recreational may have side effects, one of which could be erectile dysfunction. Drugs that are prescribed for high-blood pressure may often be the cause of a loss of erection and therefore impotence. Some drugs prescribed for psychiatric conditions such as depression may also be a cause. 5) Injury to the Penis or Surrounding Area Sometimes damage, whether temporary or otherwise to the penis may lead to a temporary loss of erection or discomfort if the area is tender. Psychological Causes of Impotence – Erectile Dysfunction This refers to the way a man either thinks about what an erection and/or sex means to them or what they associate with the act of love-making. 1) Negative Conditioning A man may have learnt from parents or other persons of influence that sex is in some way wrong or bad or have some other negative connotations. In attempting to perform sex these influences may reduce arousal and replace it with negative feelings leading to a loss of erection and impotence. 2) Criticism A partner may have criticised a man either before after or during love-making. The next time the man makes love he may have that criticism on his mind. He will want to avoid being criticised again and may feel under pressure. The result of all this may be a loss of his erection. 3) Fear of Loss of Erection Sometimes a man loses his erection during love-making which is perfectly normal. If the man believes this is not supposed to happen he may feel under pressure to keep his erection throughout love-making. This leads to anxiety and anxiety does not help maintain an erection. 4) Alcohol Many men experience temporary impotence if they have been drinking excessively. This experience or memory may play on their minds and they may feel anxious during the next time they make love. Even though alcohol may not have been consumed on this subsequent occasion the man may lose his erection if this previous memory plays on his mind. 5) Partner or Marital Difficulties If there is an issue or problem in the relationship, this may well have an impact on love-making and the result may be temporary impotence. Unfortunately the partner may compound the issue by saying something like “you don’t love me anymore” after the man loses is erection. 6) Routine – Loss of Excitement In the majority of relationships the couple can settle down into a routine for love-making and one or both partners may lose interest because the initial excitement is no longer there. Each partner does the exact same thing during love-making and so it becomes more mechanical with less emotional input. If the sexual interest lessens impotence may result Impotence and Erectile Dysfunction Conclusion All of the above and more can lead to a fear of losing an erection. If the pattern is repeated during subsequent love-making this can have a negative and compounding impact on a man’s thoughts about making love. Often avoidance may be used as a strategy to cope. Unfortunately avoidance rarely resolves or releases a fear or impotence. penis enargement surgeries mp4 vimax cheap penile enlargment penis elargement program vimax penis enlargement surgery result review vig rx compare penis enlarement pills enhancement forum free matter penis size herbal pnis enlargement
Male impotence and sterility and female infertility and sterility are major problems and concerns today and are very widespread. Impotence, infertility, and sterility are sexual dysfunctions or dysfunctions of the reproductive system. They are degenerative diseases and are therefore caused by poor or improper diet and lifestyle and therefore can be reversed. They are also psychological (and mental) diseases as well, and again, they can be reversed. In traditional Djehuty fashion, I always begin with or like to begin by defining and breaking down a thing or word so that the meaning can be digested in the mind. What is impotence? Impotence derives from the Latin word impotentia [Lat: im “not,” and potentia power]. 1. weakness. 2. inability of the adult male to achieve penile erection or, less commonly, to ejaculate having achieved an erection. Several forms are recognized. Functional impotence has a psychological basis. Anatomic impotence results from physically defective genitalia. Atonic impotence involves disturbed neuromuscular function. Poor health, age, drugs, and fatigue can inhibit normal sexual function. SOURCE: Mosby’s Medical Dictionary, 3rd Edition (1990) Basically, impotence implies that a man lacks the power to achieve erection or cannot maintain an erection or cannot maintain an erection long enough to ejaculate. This is a very serious problem if a couple wants to conceive a child and start a family. A penis must be at a 90° angle (erect state) to help create and reproduce a life by penetrating the female vagina. Impotence renders the penis at 0° - 33° angle, which is just not going to get the job done. Numerology (study of numbers) bears witness that the number 9 is the number of life and the number 90 is: 9 + 0, which equals 90, for any number times (multiplied by) zero equals that particular or specific number. A woman normally carries a child in her womb for 9 months. Mathematically, number 9 is the number of reproduction for the number 9 is the only number that when you time (or multiply) it by another number, it will equate to number 9. Example: 9 X 2 = 18, which is 1 and 8, and 1 + 8 = 9 9 X 5 = 45, which is 4 and 5, and 4 +5 = 9 9 X 12 = 108, which is 1, 0, and 8, and 1 + 0 + 9 = 9 Try this yourself! Simply times (or multiply) any number by number 9 and see what the end result is when you add all those numbers together. Devout western religious brethren, contrary to what you believe or have been erroneously taught, especially my beloved Christian brethren, numerology is NOT of the devil or demonic in nature. Numerology deals with mathematics which is the language of God. We are in the Age of Aquarius and must get with the times metaphysically or perish because I think we can all bear witness that what we have is not working or working optimally and God is not a half-stepper. With God, it’s all or nothing. So you can’t be an embracer of God and be plagued by so many pathologies, diseases, and disorders and personal and social dramas of life to the point that they rob you of an abundance of life and optimal health, or in addition, that you cannot solve all of these dramas (problems) of life. Problems are solved (worked out). I don’t mean to make anyone feel bad or down, but I have a duty to incite people think in order to stimulate and galvanize them into action, for religious faith is borne witness by actions. Jesus himself instructed the Christian believer and follower to not be a hearer of the word, but a DOER of the word. The word “do” implies ACTION! So, men, in order to reproduce (in many cases, yourself via the birth of a son or male child), you cannot be impotent and must be able to achieve a 90° angle for penetration of the sacred cave of life (vagina, Yoni). The penis in an erect state at 90° vibrationally proclaims the secret password into the sacred cave of life, which password was “Open, sesame,” which was related to the Kemetic (Ancient Egyptian) word seshemu, which meant “sexual intercourse.” The hieroglyphic sign of seshemu was a penis inserted into an arched yoni-symbol. So, what causes impotence? The number one cause undoubtedly is poor diet and lifestyle. Excessive consumption of meat (dead animal’s flesh), dairy (liquefied cow snot or mucus), and starch plays a pivotal role in impotence. Starch by far would have to be the number one thing to leave alone in order to reverse impotence. Starch is that stuff used by dry cleaning services to STIFFEN your clothes. If starch stiffens your clothes, what do you think starch will do to your penis? So cut back or cut our starchy foods (white rice, yellow corn, white potatoes, etc.). Eat brown or wild (black) rice, blue corn, and the colored potatoes (red, purple). Meat and dairy will put animal fat and cholesterol into your body which will greatly impair circulation throughout the body including the male genitalia. The penis is a sponge (organ comprised of tissue) that becomes erect by the veins of the penis circulating oxygen and blood flow to it causing it to swell up and creating girth (roundness of the head of the penis) which is important in stimulating the vagina during coitus or lovemaking. American males would be wise to refrain from eating high fatty foods and fatty oils. Your sex life depends on it! I can’t forget about eating eggs (female chicken ova). Eggs create toxicity in the body and also cause hormonal imbalance in males. Protein? Unnatural sources of protein (meat, eggs, etc.) cause toxicity and excessive uric acid in the body. Protein malutilization is the number one cause of food-based development of cancer in the body. What are meat and dairy in technical terms? PROTEIN! As a street minister back in the day or in my embryonic conscious days, I used to warn young African-American males to leave certain beer brands (Old English, St. Ides, etc.) and fried chicken sold exclusively in black urban areas alone due to the chemical substance “potassium nitrate” being heavily laced in these products to curb birth rates or population growth of African-Americans who were deemed useless eaters, expendable, or undesirables by government eugenicists covertly working in the food industry. Potassium nitrate was once used in the food of the U.S. military apparatus. Potassium nitrate is commonly known as “salt peter” which makes the penis limp. The U.S. government allowed this substance in the food of male military members to help curb the high rape rate of foreign women by U.S. military men. Potassium nitrate makes for a very controversial subject with some people agreeing that it has an adverse effect on the male apparatus (penis) and others disagreeing. Based upon my research I agree that it does in fact have an adverse effect on the male apparatus. You can believe it or not, but impotence is very high amongst African-American men today. There are still a lot of studs and Mandingos out there, but there are also a lot of Willie Lump Lumps too. I know firsthand, because I’m an herbalist and get a lot of requests for help in this area from men, young and old alike. And yes, these men are very embarrassed about their situation, because subconsciously, they know it is a basic and primal function. While the impotence rates of African-American males are high these days, the impotence rates of white men or European males are even higher. Impotence was always a luxury disease for the most part because it was the wealthy males who could afford to eat steak, smoke the best cigars, snort the finest grade of cocaine, and drink the best wines on a daily basis. All of these played and plays and major role in impotence. Cigarette and marijuana smoking will hamper erection. The byproduct of smoking is carbon monoxide which has an affinity for the blood ten times greater than that of oxygen. Cigarettes and drugs cause degeneration of the sex gland and reproductive system. The result is impotence or low sperm count. Drinking alcoholic beverages causes weakness of the penis and also causes degeneration of the male reproductive system. Remember, American wine is processed with ether (sleeping gas) and formaldehyde (embalming fluid). So how is a man going to be aware and alive for the sex act if his eyes are bloodshot red and droopy (sleepiness) and his penis cannot become erect due to being stiff from being indirectly embalmed? Billboards, especially those in urban areas and communities, always promote alcohol consumption and sex. True, a lot of sex occurs when folks get drunk, but what is the quality of that sex, and God forbid, what type of child is conceived from such sex and mental state of mind? Over a long period of time, consumption of alcohol will greatly sabotage a man’s ability to perform in the sex act. It is already an established fact that alcohol impairs motor skills and coordination, two functions of the brain and I have always said that the most important sex organ is not between a man or woman’s leg, but between their ears – the brain! The brain is the motor or device that controls sexuality. Men should also refrain from wearing tight underwear (briefs) too, and start wearing boxers. Poor circulation due to smothering of the testicles leads to low sperm count and production in addition to penile weakness (impotence). And lastly on this note, excessive and meaningless sex will undoubtedly cause premature degeneration of the male reproductive system. vimax cheap penis enlargement pills pennis enlargement pump penis enlarement information penile enlargment supplement free penile enlargment exercise herbal pnis enlargement pills homemade penis enlarement pro fitness health solution herbal pnis enlargement
The majority of parents do a good job teaching their children to beware of strangers. Yet most victims of child sexual abuse know the sex offender. In a study of twenty adult sex offenders conducted by Jon Conte, Steven Wolf and Tim Smith; two of the key questions asked were: 1. “Was there something about the child’s behavior which attracted you to the child?” Responses included: • “The warm and friendly child or the vulnerable child…Friendly, showed me their panties.” • “The way the child would look at me, trustingly.” • “The child who was teasing me, smiling at me, asking me to do favors.” • “Someone who had been a victim before—[spanking or inappropriate touch]—quiet, withdrawn, compliant. Someone, who had not been a victim would be more non-accepting of the sexual language or stepping over the boundaries of modesty… Quieter, easier to manipulate, less likely to object or put up a fight…goes along with things.” 2. “After you had identified a potential victim, what did you do to engage the child into sexual contact? Responses included: • “I didn’t say anything. It was at night, and she was asleep. • “Talking, spending time with them, being around them at bedtime, being around them in my underwear, sitting down on the bed with them… Constantly evaluating the child’s reaction… A lot of touching, hugging, kissing, snuggling.” • “Playing, talking, giving special attention, trying to get the child to initiate contact with me… From here I would initiate different kinds of contact, such as touching the child’s back, head… Testing the child to see how much she would take before she would pull away. • “Isolate them from any other people. Once alone, I would make a game of it (red light, green light with touching up their leg until they said stop). Making it fun.” • “Most of the time I would start by giving them a rub down. When I got them aroused, I would take the chance and place my hand on their penis to masturbate them. If they would not object, I would take this to mean it was Okay... I would isolate them. I might spend the night with them… Physical isolation, closeness, contact are more important than verbal seduction.” We cannot ignore the sophistication of sex offenders’ efforts to desensitize the child through the gradual development of a relationship with the child and progressing from non-sexual touch (touching a leg, back or head) to sexual touch. Given that 95-99 percent of sex offenders are people their victims know and trust—family members and other trusted adults—even children as young as two can be taught to know what to do to protect him/herself. For a child who has been taught only to say, “No’ to touching his/her private parts—one of the consequences of this relationship building and desensitization process is self-blame. By the time the child realizes that his/her private parts were touched—the damage is done—and the child may believe he/she has given consent to the abuse. He/she thinks because he/she did not say, “No” when the adult rubbed her/his back or head, he/she is to blame. It only takes one second for a sex offender to stick his tongue into a child’s mouth when he is giving a ‘traditional family’ kiss on the lips. It only takes one second for a sex offender to put his hand up a girl’s leg and touch a child’s labia while she sits on his lap. Studies reveal that teaching a child to say, “No” has little impact because it is rare a child will affect more than weak resistance against a known sex offender. Furthermore, the sex offender will usually ignore a simple, “No.” The sex offender uses subtle or blatant threats, intimidating the child into compliance and silence. My book, If I’d Only Known…Sexual Abuse in or out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, emphasizes six important prevention techniques. • Non-violation of sacred Body boundaries—to thwart the sex offender who counts on—a child who has been violated before—quiet, withdrawn, compliant. Someone, who had not been a victim, would be more non-accepting of the sexual language or stepping over the boundaries of modesty… Quieter, easier to manipulate, less likely to object or put up a fight…goes along with things.” • Good, Appropriate Touch • Appropriate Body Boundaries • Good Body Image • Tell Mommy and Daddy Everything—No Secrets Rule • Appropriate Suspicion Appropriate Suspicion (intuition, a.k.a. sixth sense) alone when acted upon empowers the child to thwart the majority of would-be sex offenders. Coupled with the other five techniques—your child is well prepared to stop every sex offender in their tracks. Trusting and acting on your intuition or sixth sense and allowing your child to trust his/her intuition is paramount to protecting children from sex offenders, no matter whether they are family members, family friends, doctors, dentists, teachers, etc. Children are naturally intuitive and often sense an adult’s ulterior motives, although you may not suspect anything. We need to accept the reality that no one can be considered exempt from being a sex offender, including all family members. As a parent, be appropriately suspicious and trust your intuition. If you err in evaluating a situation, make the error on the side of your child. The important factor is not that you have avoided offending someone, but that you have protected your child, until you can investigate further. The title of my book, If I’d Only Known… is the lament of my friend’s daughter whose three-year-old son was sexually abused by her step-mother’s ten-year-old son. If only I had known that he would potentially abuse other children because he was sexually abused, I would never have let John play in the backyard alone with him.” She was right, if only parents knew the fact that sexual abuse is perpetrated, ‘anywhere, anytime, and by someone you least expect, they could protect children from this heinous crime. Another important aspect of child protection is taking responsibility. “Those who ignore the past are condemned to repeat it.” –Jean-Paul Sartre “We are not only responsible for what we do, but also, for what we don’t do.” –Voltaire “The worst way you can choose is to choose no way at all.” –Friedrich II “Every choice we make, every thought and feeling we have, is an act of power that has biological, environmental, social, personal and global consequences.” –Caroline Myss “You can not change that which you do not acknowledge. –Dorothy M. Neddermeyer