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Here are over 100 ideas to help you keep monogamy hot!
1. Find out what music your lover likes, and play it.
2. Sing to each other, especially if you can't sing. Listen to a song that turns you on and write the words out so you will remember them. Then without any music sing that song as a surprise gift to your lover. Watch the tears come to their eyes.
3. Find out what scents your lover likes, e.g., perfumes and especially essential oils. Get an essential oil diffuser.
4. Wear the clothes your lover likes. Try something wild in latex.
5. Serve the food your lover likes.
6. Select locations for lovemaking that your partner likes.
7. Prepare yourself for stimulating conversation. Do some homework if necessary to have something interesting to talk about.
8. Give lots of compliments on a regular basis.
9. Compliment you lover in front of others.
10. Tell each other all the things you like and appreciate about each other. Do this every day.
11. Show your body to your lover. Let them look as long as they like.
12. Take your clothes off while your lover watches.
13. Tease your partner with partial nudity at unexpected times, like when your mother or children are in the other room. Be artful and naughty about it so only your lover sees you.
14. Explore each other's bodies with your eyes, hands and tongues.
15. Hold a mirror for your partner to look at their own genitals.
16. Women, touch your lover's genitals with sighs of desire from time to time, even when out in public (discretely).
17. Men, nibble on your partner's neck with sighs of desire from time to time, even when out in public.
18. Give each other a sensual massage. Try short 5 minute full body massages on a daily basis, as well as longer versions (one hour or longer) when time permits. Use an exotic massage oil. You can mix some yourself with an excellent essential oil in a base of first cold press grapeseed (canola) oil.
19. Create a temple-of-love space in anticipation of your lovemaking. Make your space beautiful. Keep it simple.
20. Create your own rituals & ceremonies. Keep it simple.
21. Tell each other what turns you on. If they don't know they can't give it to you.
22. Read and/or write erotic poetry and stories.
23. Watch erotic, romantic movies and videos.
24. Take a bath or shower together. Even small tubs are great fun. Make a mess.
25. Wash each other's bodies. Be kind and gentle and provocative, or raucous and wild, whatever you're both into.
26. Wash each other's feet. Use a small dishpan and some wonderful natural soap. Rub on an aromatic foot lotion.
27. Suck on your partner's squeaky-clean toes.
28. Feed each other food and drink. Use your fingers. Make a mess.
29. Read stories out loud to each other.
30. Wear costumes and masks as part of your foreplay. Oooh, mystery!
31. Tie each other up. Men especially love to be tied up.
32. Paint each other's bodies. Use washable/edible body paint or chocolate sauce you make yourself or buy.
33. Wash each other's hair.
34. Give each other pedicures.
35. Prepare sensual meals together. Fondle and tease each other as you work/play.
36. Watch the sun come up or go down, or the moon go across the water.
37. Lie out under the stars. Sleep out under the stars.
38. Make flower arrangements together, fresh or dried.
39. Send each other erotic post cards without any special occasion.
40. Write love letters to each other.
41. Say the words "I love you. I need you. I want you."
42. Whisper words of adoration in your lover's ears before, during and after love making.
43. Talk "dirty" in your lover's ears in the heat of passion during your lovemaking.
44. Hold hands in public.
45. Go on picnics.
46. Call each other by "sucky" pet names.
47. Make foreplay go on and on and on and on and....
48. Men, help your woman come to orgasm before intercourse - at least some times!
49. Men, be sure she is wet, before you put your golden rod into her fig pocket!
50. Romance each other for hours, with intercourse on and off the whole time. Men, learn to delay ejaculation!
51. Cuddle after intercourse. Look into each other's eyes. Say words of love and adoration. Thank the God and Goddess for their favors.
52. Cry in front of each other.
53. Share what you are feeling. Risk being vulnerable.
54. Try different lovemaking positions. Experiment.
55. Try different lovemaking locations. Experiment.
56. Use love toys. Experiment.
57. Laugh during intercourse. Laugh before intercourse. Laugh after intercourse.
58. Offer unexpected gifts. Keep it simple, but thoughtful. Pick the right thing, not the biggest or most expensive thing.
59. Remember special occasions. Special occasions should be special!
60. Say please and thank you for sexual favors and for many small things each day. “Whether the pretty woman grants or withholds her favors, she always likes to be asked for them.” Ovid
61. Surprise your lover with the unexpected. Experiment.
62. Try something new. Experiment.
63. Try something dangerous. Experiment.
64. Try something outrageous. Experiment.
65. Try something kinky. Experiment.
66. Try something you are afraid of. Experiment.
67. Try something forbidden. Experiment.
68. Share your fantasies. Act them out with each other. Don't ever share fantasies about someone else with your lover!
69. Masturbate each other.
70. Masturbate in front of each other.
71. Dress up for a romantic dinner.
72. Eat dinner by candlelight.
73. Make love by candlelight.
74. Put on little skits (acts) for each other. Experiment.
75. Be foolish and playful. Experiment.
76. Drop something that is really important for you to do, and make love instead.
77. Call when you are away and say "I miss you terribly. I can't wait to get home to hold you."
78. Talk "dirty" over the phone to each other.
79. Shop for sex toys and lingerie together.
80. Ladies, wear garter belt and stockings instead of pantyhose.
81. Put blindfolds on each other during foreplay and intercourse, sometimes.
82. Role play: innocent high school student, slut, nurse, stripper, master, slave, bad boy or girl, etc.
83. Look into each other's eyes, if possible until tears follow the opening of your heart in love.
84. Match the rhythm of your breathing during lovemaking.
85. Take rapid breaths to heat up your excitement.
86. Take long, deep, slow breaths to maintain a high level of excitement without going over into orgasm. Prolonging the orgasmic excitement leads to ecstasy.
87. Just hold each other.
88. Talk where one only listens. The one who listens does not try to take any responsibility, does not try to intervene or "fix" anything. Just listen. This is harder to do than it sounds.
89. Give each other a 10-second kiss when coming and going.
90. Make out like high school kids, without intercourse.
91. Practice Tantra Sacred Sex muscle control, breathing and visualization together. If you don't know how, take a workshop together.
92. Give each other flowers regularly. Men love to receive flowers too!
93. Have fresh flowers around as often as possible.
94. Have lots of green healthy plants in the house.
95. Notice all the little things you do for each other, that you regularly take for granted, and let each other know how important they are to you. Show your appreciation.
96. Spend time remembering wondrous past experiences together when you were happy and joyous.
97. Take turns leading when dancing slow.
98. In conversation always use loving names when referring to your genitals, e.g., jade stalk, wand of light, mystery cave, succulent flower, etc.
99. Make plans for the future.
100. Talk about spending the rest of your life together.
101. Write out your vision for the kind of relationship you want to create together.
102. Display your relationship vision/dream where you will see it often.
103. Serve each other breakfast in bed.
104. Sleep together NAKED! Curl around each other like spoons. Roll over together to change positions in the night.
105. In the morning when you wake up lying naked together, the man goes between the woman’s legs. If he is not aroused, he will use the soft entry by wetting his penis with saliva (or any suitable lubricant such as water based or silicone lubricants, or any cooking oil) and inserting it into her vagina. Lie still with your eyes open and match your breathing for 2-5 minutes.
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The cause of premature ejaculation is not clear and the disease is believed to be mainly a psychological problem. To understand how premature ejaculation can be successfully treated, we need to present some facts related to ejaculation and its mechanism.
The mechanism of ejaculation is actually quite complicated and is associated with three different simultaneous events: release of semen from the prostate (seminal emission), propelling the semen out the prostate and penis (ejaculation ), and prevention of semen going backwards into the bladder (bladder neck closure).
In a very simple representation, the male ejaculatory mechanism consists of two reflexes: the glans-vasal and urethromuscular. Glans-vasal reflex seems to bring the semen to the posterior urethra (the emission phase of ejaculation) and then the urethromuscular reflex ejects it to the exterior (ejection phase of ejaculation).
Deeply involved in mechanism of ejaculation is the paired, striated muscles at the base of the penis called the bulbospongiosus. Once the seminal fluid reaches the bulbous urethra, the bulbocavernosus muscle contraction (BCM) compresses the urethra and expelled its contents.
This introduction was necessary because any dysfunction of all mentioned above seem to induce ejaculatory disorders and any treatment is close related to this dysfunction.
Squeeze Technique aims to educate bulbocavernosus muscle to eliminate involuntary contractions that may cause the ejaculation with minimal sexual stimulation. This technique described by Masters and Johnson is very successful if the sufferer has a willing and understanding partner. The person with premature ejaculation is stimulated by his partner to the point of imminent ejaculation. Just prior to ejaculation, the partner squeezes the penis in its base to prevent ejaculation. Once the sensation of impending ejaculation has subsided, the process is repeated. Gradually, over time, a man can prolong his time until ejaculation.
"Stop and start" method This involves sexual stimulation until the man recognizes that he is about to ejaculate. The stimulation is then removed for about thirty seconds and then may be resumed. The sequence is repeated until ejaculation is desired, the final time allowing the stimulation to continue until ejaculation occurs. To be successful this method also claims the partner co-operation.
Reducing the stimulation For men with premature ejaculation a number of creams are available that can partially anesthetize (numb) the penis and reduce the stimulation that leads to orgasm. Another option is to use one or more condoms. However, either of these techniques may interfere with the pleasure experienced during sex.
Drugs Alternatively, your doctor may prescribe medication that helps to delay ejaculation. Delayed orgasm is a common side effect of certain drugs, particularly those used to treat depression. When this type of medication is given to men who experience premature ejaculation, it can help to postpone orgasm for up to several minutes.
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Who is the master? Your penis or you? Does your penis sleep when he wants to? Learn how to maintain your penis erections and controlling your premature ejaculation moments. Learn to get to know this muscle called the Pubococcygeal (PC). This is the muscle that helps maintain your erections and your ejaculations. Do not let your penis control you any longer.
Both men and women have this muscle. This is the muscle that can shut off your urine flow. When you urinate and stop the flow of your urine, the pubococcygeal muscle is what you are working with when you stop your urine flow. Men who experience premature ejaculation and/or leak urine when you sneeze or cough should learn how to strengthen your pubococcygeal (pc). If you learn how to strengthen this muscle, this will help in avoiding the above problems. If you are leaking urine or any ejaculation problems, then you need to put a stop to this right now. Learn to be in control of your erections and ejaculations.
In making the pubococcygeal muscle stronger, you will improve the intensity of your erections and ejaculations. You will improve the blood supply that goes through your penis. Better blood circulation through the penis is better erections overall. You will also improve your erotic pleasure. You will intensify your physical sensations and excitement for you and your partner once you learn how to strengthen this muscle.
You can exercise the pubococcygeal muscle by tightening and holding back on this muscle for a count of three. Then relax, then tighten again for a count of three. Repeat this exercise 10 times, 5 times a day. Now, do not perform this exercise when you are urinating. I have only show you where to locate this muscle when you urinate only. Again, when you urinate and stop the flow, this is the pc muscle you are working with. You can do this type of exercise anywhere. Standing on the line at the bank, at work, home, anywhere, and nobody will know that you are exercising this muscle. Only you will know. Here are the signs that you need to know if you need to make your pubococcygeal (pc) muscle stronger.
A. If stopping the flow of your urine is difficult, then you have a weak pc muscle.
B. If you have poor posture, then you may have a weak pc muscle.
C. You can not have intercourse longer than 3 minutes before ejaculating.
D. Urine leakage when you sneeze or cough.
It is a true fact that 85% of men can not have intercourse longer than 3 minutes before ejaculating. This is due to a underdeveloped and weak pubococcygeal muscle. Having a weak pc muscle causes weak erections, weak ejaculations, impotence and premature ejaculation. Learning to control your ejaculations will help in developing a stronger pc muscle. Developing good muscle tone of your pc muscle will help improve your ejaculation control and will enhance your lovemaking pleasure between you and your partner.
A strong pubococcygeal muscle gives more blood to the genitals making erections come more easy. Start exercising this muscle. You will gain full erections every time. You will also satisfy your lovemaking activities and naturally this does enhance one's self esteem.
Wake up and control your penis. Do not let your penis control you. Learn to control your erections and ejaculations. The pubococcygeal muscle is the organ of energy. Exercise it and control it. And do not let your penis sleep when he wants to. Who is the master? I will leave this up to you.
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I really don’t know how to say this any other way. My dog decided to talk to me the other night and he had a lot to say.
It initially played like any other night really. Once again, I was tossing and turning, in and out of sleep. I was half awake, mulling over my job situation: I want to make money writing but I need an income more. Then the most bizarre thing happened.
“Hey human Bob! This is your best friend speaking! Wake up!”
Who the hell was that? It was a deep, low voice; strong and certain with a hint of a bourbon induced slur. Sounded like Dean Martin actually. I immediately sat up. It was pitch black. The radio clock blurred 3:53 in a dull crimson light. All I could make out was the shadowy outline of Parker, my trusty beagle, sitting upright at my feet.
“Hey boy, did you hear that?” I whispered instinctively. “Someone’s in the house.”
My vision was starting to warm up to the darkness. Parker just stared back at me, his head tilted, his long ears hanging to the side of his head like hand towels on a wall. He turned his head to the bedroom doorway, lifted his nose to the night and sniffed. He turned back to face me.
“Don’t think so.”
I swore Parker spoke but it couldn’t be. I mean his hound drawn lips seemed to move to the words I heard but that was impossible.
“Who’s there?” I yelled into the night. “Whoever it is, I am warning you that I am at this moment retrieving my loaded double-barrel twelve gauge from under the bed. I will shoot you. So leave now and I want to hear the door slam behind you.”
I made some dumb noises in a lame attempt to fool the intruder into believing what I had just proclaimed. I took the ruse to the next level.
“Okay. I’m fully armed and about to call 911 from my fully powered cell phone. Oh yeah, strong signal, four bars. Oh yeah, this is going to be a very clear 911 call.”
“You’re breaking me up. Put the phone down human Bob.”
It was Parker talking. I was certain of it. Nah, it had to be a sick trick.
“Okay, good one Steve. You wired up the dog with a little speaker. Very funny.”
My brother Steve was known to go to great lengths to pull off pranks. But I was pretty sure he was at his apartment in the city, sixty miles away, God knows doing what, and at 48 years old, unlikely to suddenly bother me with a prank—it had been 25 years since his last one. But the mind scrambles to the most implausible scenarios when so duly challenged.
“Don’t think so. Nope it’s me, Parker,” the dog mumbled.
I was positive he spoke again. By now I was sitting straight up, leaning towards him. He just sat there and looked at me with those big dark eyes. His poker face was on.
“Parker? Are you talking to me?”
“Well I’m not talking to myself.”
I leaned back against the headboard. He yawned.
“This can’t be. I’ve got to stop watching Animal Planet.”
“Listen, I’ve got something to say and I’m not sure how long this talking stuff is going to work so …”
“You are talking!” I interrupted incredulously.
“Should you want I bow wow?”
“Holy cow! Parker you are talking.”
“Yup. But I’m not sure for how long. So can I say a few things before …”
“I can’t believe this.”
“Yeah I know. Either can I but if you don’t mind.”
I looked at him with a giant smile plastered across my face. Parker can talk. The dog was talking. Who was I kidding? It had to be a prank. He continued.
“I’ve been listening to a lot of that talk radio and that C-SPAN channel you watch while you write. I’m here to tell ya I don’t like what I’m hearing.”
“You’re kidding me right?”
“Afraid not.”
Oh this was good. I was really hallucinating. Talk-shmalk, I had a few nagging questions of my own.
“Hey, can I ask you something before you get to your stuff?”
“Make it quick. I haven’t got all night.”
“You like smell things a hundred times more than we do, right?”
“Four hundred.”
“Okay, four hundred. Wow! Then I really wonder about this.”
“Yeah I know. Why do we like to sniff every morsel of excrement or yellow patch of urine we encounter on our walks?”
“Now that you bring it up, yeah, why? It must smell like the inside of Dick Cheney’s or Ted Kennedy’s septic tank? And you know how much crap they’re filled with.”
“That was a funny one human Bob. But it isn’t like what you smell. We pick up a lot more notes. It’s a broader pallet if you will. We don’t smell stink. We smell identity, mood, and illness. For instance, you know that crazy cairn terrier down the street?”
“Yeah.”
“She has stomach cancer and her humans don’t have a clue.”
“You are kidding me?”
“She probably has less than six months if they don’t get her to a vet soon.” He paused to lick his right front paw. “Yeah, and another thing. Don’t take me out at nights for awhile.”
“Why?”
“Cause there is a rabid possum living under the porch. That’s why.”
“You know this from the smell of possum poop?”
“Excrement.”
“Whatever.”
“Yup.” Parker yawned as if bored. “So is that it? Can I say what I need to say?”
“Well there is that thing you do with that licking your, you know, your …”
“Penis?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Jealous are we?”
“Well, it’s just that …”
“It’s all about keeping clean. Nothing pleasurable if that’s what you’re driving at. Nothing like what you do with your hand. By the way, I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t pet me afterwards. Nope, no pleasure; it’s all business. You made sure of that when you had me “fixed”, remember. Thank you very much.”
“Oh yeah, sorry about that. I had no idea you knew any different.”
“No idea my butt. I’ll ‘no idea’ ya.” He paused again to lick his right paw again and then continued. “But I don’t hold it against you. We don’t hold grudges. Heck, if we did, we would have mauled most humans dead by now. Which brings me to why I am talking to you.”
“No grudges. Really? I mean that “fixing” stuff is pretty serious. That’s pretty good if that doesn’t bother you.”
“You done? Can I get to my concern?”
“Sure. Sorry. Go ahead.”
“How can humans be so smart supposedly, while they single handedly are destroying the Earth?”
“You mean global warming?”
“It’s more than that. It’s the air. It’s the water. It’s the dirt. It’s the forests. It’s the killing. It’s the anger. It’s the hate. It’s the grudges. It’s the fear. It’s everything.”
“Oh come on. You’re being a little dramatic.”
“We don’t know dramatic.”
“Well give me examples of what you mean.”
“First of all, the air is filled with danger. Dogs, cats, birds, animals of all kinds can smell it. It is our biggest topic when we get together.”
“I don’t smell a thing.”
“Yeah, that’s part of the problem. And you can’t taste the troubled water either.”
“Scientists don’t seem to be complaining. So I should be listening to a dog?”
“We have no agenda. Dogs call it as they smell it.”
“ ‘call it as they smell it’; I’m suppose to just accept that?”
“Yeah, there is a lot you should just accept.”
“Oh yeah, like what else?”
“Well, and here is what I think is the crux of the problem, you keep choosing the wrong alpha humans.”
“What?”
“You’ve got this alpha thing all wrong. Just because animals order their packs based on physical size and strength doesn’t make it so for humans. We do it because we are simple. You do it because you are thoughtless. That’s what we, and I think it is fair to say I am speaking for all animals, don’t get. Humans are able to think things through. But they never do. Well, that’s not completely true; some have but they are mocked or marginalized.
An alpha dog barks and gets all puffy, like that wacky shepherd Sarge from around the block. The worst he can do is break out of his electronic fence and charge one of us. But you humans take it up a notch.”
“Can you give me a for instance?”
“God there are so many. Let me see. Okay, you’ve elected a president who pounds his chest and walks around like a gorilla with its arms all out to the side, all tough and all, carrying on with ‘bring it on’. When he jumps the fence, he brings tanks and bombs and humans loaded down in weapons and in body armor. Meanwhile, you have alpha males all over the place, flexing their muscle in their packs, threatening to obtain nuclear weapons, the great equalizer, giving the president one excuse after another to hop the fence. It’s nuts. And I for one am telling you, you’ve got it all wrong.”
“Well, I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t need to say anything. Just start picking the right alpha humans; humans whose visions see beyond fighting, whose hearts hold no grudges, whose thoughts and reasons are not the products of testosterone, whose collective knowledge is rooted in the concept that true peace is never the consequence of war but the outcome of constant learning, negotiating and adjusting.”
“This is what you want to tell me? Nothin’ for nothin’ but it’s a little heavy for a little chat with a dog at 3:30 in the morning.”
“In a nut shell, yeah.”
It was hard to accept this from my beagle. I mean, he’s a dog; a sleeping, eating, sniffing, crapping dog. I was chalking this whole episode up to stress. I was apparently snapping.
“That’s it. I’m pretty much done. Just one last thing while I have the chance.”
“What? World hunger? String theory?” I asked sarcastically.
“You get the right alpha humans and the world hunger thing will take care of itself, smart ass. As far as string theory, who do you think I am, Hawking? I’m just a dog. No it’s more pedestrian than that, something I think you can manage.”
“Then what, already?” I asked impatiently.
“You know that thing you do occasionally where you empty the dish washer in the buff.”
“Ummm … yeah I guess.”
“Put some clothes on. It’s disturbing. I’m beggin’ ya, please!”
“All right, but only if you lick your privates in private.”
“I’ll see what I can do. No promises.”
“So this is it? No more talking? You know we could make a fortune on Letterman with his stupid pet tricks.”
“It’ll never happen. You see, this is a one time deal. Not sure why or how this is happening. Maybe that God guy is involved somehow. All I know is that when it is done, it is …” He abruptly stopped talking.
“Parker?”
Not a grunt. He yawned and as he did he stretched his front legs out and spread across the foot of the bed, his ears resting flat on the blanket.
“Parker … are you done? Is that it?”
He slowly closed his eyes and floated off to sleep.
“Parker … just like that?”
He began to twitch; in hot pursuit of a fox I imagined.
“Holy smokes. I must be dreaming myself.”
I curled back down under the safety of my covers, scratched my butt and thought about the conversation I had just had with Parker or myself or both. I sniffed the air. It smelled fine to me. What the heck was he talking about, ‘danger in the air’? It had to be a dream.
As I drifted off to sleep, I thought about getting a real job real soon, apparently this writing stuff was getting the best of me. I also made a point to remember to talk to the owners of that crazy cairn terrier. I thought it was the least I could do. One can’t be too dismissive of the unexplainable these days.
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