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I yearn for a simpler time. Life in this modern age can be frustrating and scary, what with the global warming and the bad cholesterol and the high-definition reruns of 'The Nanny'. I long for a more peaceful existence, free from the complications of the twenty-first century lifestyle. I'm ready to re-adopt a few of our long-forgotten traditions, to recapture the halcyon days of yore. Yesteryore, even. I'm not screwing around here.
First, I'd like to go back to using surnames to describe peoples' professions. So, if I meet a Shoemaker, I'll know he can help me patch the holes in my sneakers. If I run into a Baker, I can ask for a 'doughnut hole', without worrying how exactly he'll interpret the request. And if a Parker happens to be around -- well, maybe he can finally get my car into my garage spot. Plus, he might be turn out to be Spider-Man. That would be sweet.
While we're at it, how about if we go back to riding horses to get around? Gas prices are high, pollution is terrible, and I for one am fed up with that creepy, big-eared 'zoom zoom' brat. Much better that we should saunter around the natural way, atop large domesticated hairy animals. We can ride twelve wide down the highway, trotting and cantering our way to the office. Sure, we'll all need stables -- and salt licks, and hay bales, and the level of poop in the streets would escalate, just a touch, unless you live in Paramus -- but it's a small price to pay to be rid of our mobile metal monsters. And just think of all the glue and Big Macs we'll be able to make with the 'leftovers'.
It doesn't end there, though. I think we should settle all of our differences the old-fashioned way, too, with a nice pistol duel. If it was good enough for the founding fathers, then why not us? Put away the fancy Glocks and rifles -- those things won't help you much, anyway, once we convert back to horseback travel. Have you ever heard of a 'gallop-by shooting'? Me, neither. We'll nip an awful lot of violence in the bud, if the would-be perps were forced to use ancient flint-lock pieces to do their dirty deeds. Those things are more likely to blow off your fingers than to take out your enemy. I'd think twice before stepping off ten paces against the guy who dissed my baby's mama, that's for sure.
I suppose the Internet is out, too -- if there's anything that screams 'modern technology', it's the internet. So we'll have to get our porn somewhere else, obviously. But also our communications -- email goes out the window, too. Maybe we can Pony Express parchments to each other, or learn to send 'leetspeak' instant messages via smoke signal. Of course, if the spammers get their grubby paws on that technology, they'll fill the skies with soot, selling their snake oil and combination butter churns/penis enlargers. And you thought pop-up ads were bad; at least nobody ever got black lung from one of those.
Finally, let's start talking like the old-timers -- sorry, I mean, 'olde-timers'. All the fancy new lingo and technical jargon around today -- let's throw it all away, and replace it with words like 'forsooth' and ''verily'. Sure, nobody knows what the hell those things mean any more, but is that really any different than technoweenie talk like 'phishing' or 'emoticon'? If we're going to be unintelligible, at least we can sound Shakespearean. That's my attitude.
Would any of these measures make our lives easier? Perhaps. Maybe we should ask the Amish, before we go to all the trouble. They certainly seem happy, raising barns and riding in buggies and not smoking or drinking or dancing or... wow. If we're really serious about going 'retro', I suppose we have to fall in line with all of that uber-observant religious mumbo-jumbo, too. I never thought about that. And there's no way I'm getting up before noon on Sundays, or giving up my three-margarita breakfasts. So, never mind. Maybe the modern life isn't quite so bad, after all. Verily.
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Genital warts are not something that you want to have. They are a serious sexually transmitted disease that is hard to deal with. The human papilloma virus otherwise known as HPV causes this disease. This virus looks like bumps that resemble warts. These bumps are annoying and will cause you discomfort. This is why it is so important to have it taken care of right away.
Genital warts look like little bumps that form around the penis or in and on the vagina, the cervix and the anus. This virus is passed when people engage in all types of sexual conduct. It is important for people to know that these are not the same warts that are found on the hands and feet. These should not be treated with the same types of treatment. You are going to have to get special treatment and the right medicine to treat this disease.
Many people that have the wart virus on their sexual organs are very contagious. Only a few people develop warts that can be seen. It is passed when skin touches skin during sexual conduct. The wart virus is very common in adults who are sexually active and do not perform safe sex. When someone has genital warts, they will need to get medical treatment and get the proper care so that they do not spread this disease to any of their partners.
There are some people who have this disease will not know they have it. They may not have any of the signs of the disease. They may have painless warts on their sex organs. Those warts will be different in size and can be smooth or bumpy. There are special procedures and tests that have to be performed to determine the wart virus.
If you think that you may have genital warts, you need to seek medical attention. You need to take care of the problem before it worsens. You should not have sexually conducted with anyone until you have treatment for the problem. If you do have sex, you need to use a condom so that you do not spread the disease to your partner.
If you do get medical treatment as soon as you see any signs or symptoms of genital warts, you will find that you can keep it quiet and simple. You do not have to be embarrassed about having them. In fact, there are more people than ever being diagnosed with this unwanted disease. You will find that you will feel much better once you get help and get the problem under control.
If you do not have any medical coverage, there are free clinic that will give you the help that you are looking for with the genital warts. You will get medicine and even some advice to help you control this nuisance.
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An age old problem for men has been the problem of a small penis size. For years, men have looked to science to provide them with an answer, usually leading to painful surgery. The process of surgery is now a thing of the past though with the help of modern scientific advances in natural penis enlargement.
While the focus used to be on working from the outside in to gain size, now its just the opposite. Natural penis enlargement techniques help men gain real inches by developing the penis from the inside out.
These advances though have seen the development of special exercises and now the traction devices. Traction devices and exercises have enabled men to gain a bigger penis size in a matter of just a few weeks. Through continued use over the course of a few months, men can gain even bigger size, in both length and girth.
As penis enlargement moves closer into the mainstream, people are already using its techniques and talking to others in male enhancement forums. Men want to improve themselves now more than ever and natural penis enlargement gives them the tools to reach their potential.
How natural penis enlargement works
The way the two main methods of natural penis enlargement work is by stretching the penis. In general, your current penis size is limited. For it to grow, the penis needs stimulation for its inner smooth muscles to expand, and allow more blood to flow in.
Once blood flow is increased, stretching techniques are used to push the rich supply of nutrients in the blood to new areas of the penis. This has the effect of helping to grow bulky new tissue cells. This in turn gives the penis more volume, size and strength.
What to expect from natural penis enlargement
Right now, the two most highly used methods to increase size are the exercise techniques and the penis enlargement device. These two top methods used to enlarge the penis will work for any penis size. Any normal man can expect gains from one full inch up to three full inches in a matter of 1-6 months.
Of course, you can technically go bigger if you want to. Be advised though, that a penis size bigger than eight inches is asking for trouble. Most women find a penis this size painful, and anyway it’s the first four inches of the vagina that really counts. In this way, girth or thickness can be most important for satisfying a woman. The perfect size to work toward is totally up to you but anything around 7-8 inches is definitely worth the effort.
Results may vary due to your current size, and how often you workout with exercises or wear the penis traction device, but everyone will get at least some results. If you have any serious medical problems, you might want to talk to your doctor before trying to enlarge your penis.
Staying motivated
Most men who stay motivated and continue their penis enlargement method will see positive and permanent results. Some men give up too early and swear that penis enlargement does not work. Do not let yourself give in by sticking to your exercises and use of your traction device.
Measuring your penis
Results will come and you will feel fantastic when you see the progress as you measure your penis. Be careful not to measure too often though as you may get disappointed if you see no results. Measure every 3 weeks instead of every few days and you will see what I mean.
If you use the exercises, try to mix a new exercise into your routine every few weeks as you get more comfortable with the correct way to workout.
If you choose to try the traction device, some companies like SizeGenetics will give you access to a penis enlargement exercise guide, which you can also use to speed up your gains. This is the recommended option for those who want the fastest results possible.
The results you see from penis enlargement come from the effort you put in. You will not lose any of the gains you make, they will stay with you. Getting started in natural penis enlargement will leave a big smile on your partners face and a bigger bulge in your pants that guys will envy you for.
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Over a decade ago, “spam” connoted a certain food product usually enjoyed for breakfast. Today, in the internet age, when people say “spam”, the first thing that comes to mind is junk mail, or those unwanted emails that come into your mailbox offering you all sorts of things from breast and penis enlargements to loans, to bogus offers. Spam tends to take up your mailbox space and eat up your bandwidth resources that it has become such a major problem and annoyance. Recent moves have been made by responsible individuals to push an anti-spamming law to punish those that commit it. And as spamming application grows sophisticated by the minute, the more effort anti-spamming advocates have to exert to thwart this perennial problem.
Individually though, how does one stop spam from coming through the emails? Read on below for some of our suggestions.
Normally, all email clients have built in spam filters and other similar programs to detect and stop spam. But often, these are not enough to protect emails from receiving those annoying emails because as mentioned earlier, spam has become more developed over the years. Fortunately, there are several other third party spam blockers and spam filters which you can download for free and then install on your computers. Some even have additional features that can easily flag phishing scams, or those emails that contain fraudulent messages supposedly coming from big banks and financial companies and are targeting your finances.
What is the difference between spam filters and spam blockers?
Spam filters – Identifies and stops spam which carry certain key words and spam texts before it even reaches the mailbox. The problem though, with many spam filter system is that it may potentially also block emails coming from legitimate accounts. So make sure that these spam filters are installed properly. Filtering emails does not guarantee a stop to spam, but it can make your Internet activity fairly easier.
Spam blockers – Identifies and stops spam based on assigned blacklist containing the spammers’ email addresses or ISP. The downside of this is some spammers often change their ISP’s and addresses and this may not be assigned in the blacklist. You have to make sure to update your blacklist often.
Whether it’s a spam filter or spam blocker, or both, it is best to monitor and identify what you need versus the features these applications offers before you install your choice into your computer.
The other thing you can do to stop spam is to keep your email addresses separate and private. As most people carry a work email and a string of personal emails, use it for specific purposes only (e.g. work email addresses must strictly be for work only). Then divulge your email address only to persons you would like to exchange emails with. This move should help you stop spam by half. Use a personal free mail service when signing up online forums, groups or filling out online subscriptions. An email address specifically for these can be regarded as a “throwaway” or a “dummy email” which could serve as a buffer between your other more important emails.
Stopping spam takes a conscious effort. Those email address have to be safeguarded by the user (you) to protect you from many of the harm that Internet use poses.
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The Portrait of: Mr. Augusto S. Moaio
The Mu-man
“The Mu-men, how did they get here?” asked Professor Eceptico-Espirtu, of the University of Lima (in Peru).
“How do you think,” said a youthful student named: Augusto S. Moaio, a wild looking flat faced undergraduate from one of the South Pacific Islands: adding, “they came on a damn ship from Saturn and some from Mercury, from its gigantic volcano area.”
It was the first day of classes for the students and so the Professor hesitated in correcting the young lad, and simply smiled reluctantly at him. Then after a—something shorter than a pause—he remarked, “That all seems a bit far fetched, like one of those Edgar Rice Burroughs novels, or Mr. Doyle’s “Lost World,” crap”; the class laughed and so the professor figured he’d string the new student along and listen like a good father would to a spoiled son, and then make a lesson out of him in front of the class.
“So it does,” responded the mad and impatient young man, with a receding hairline, and long ears; not long-long ears, but not normal size either. Matter of fact, the professor took a second look for he had not noticed them a moment ago being long at all.
Said the Professor [cynically] “Tell me Mr. Moaio just where these Mu-men came from in a more specific and detailed manner: and if possible, in chronological order, for we all seem so uninformed according to you; henceforward son, move on, give us a better grasp on this!” This was the normally way for the professor to scare off his challengers [or challenges] in class; that is, toss a little fun their way [belittle them if need be] make them sweat; thus, shutting down their stupid questions, or remarks, as he felt they were just annoyances, but he had to allow some inquiry.
Said Mr. Moaio with a smile [after a short consideration], or was it a sneer, it’s hard to determine, “They were already here long before the aliens arrived: the Mu-men that is.”
“You don’t need to clarify who we are discussing; you are all alive and I dare say, some undergraduates, and some graduate students, are you not; you all got cultured brains I hope, especially being in my class you better have.” The ‘not’ and ‘you’ had an inflection to it. “Carry on Augusto,” bellowed the professor.
[A little stiffly—he’s mad.] “As I was about to say,” the class all looking at the young tall man standing by his desk now, all twenty students with inquisitive eyes and wondering if this was a stage play or what. “…the primitive Mu-men were injected with a chromosome buster, they were evidently breaking and life expectancy was less than twenty-five years for them, and the aliens helped in this area, in particular, the Saturnites. This of course was the beginnings of the highbred Mu-men, whom were similar to our great apes or primates if you will, prior to their helpful technology.”
The professor now said [laconically]. “So are we getting a lesson on Evolution, Mr. Moaio?”
“Oh no just a chronological order of how they came to be and whom they were as you wanted Sir.”
“Carry on, carry on, young lad…” said the professor—wild-eyed—with distain in his countenance, adding: “and when did all this take place, since you seem to have hidden knowledge none of us have; dates give me dates, they got to someplace in that big head of yours.” Now the professor got another laugh from his students, as he predicted. But it didn’t seem to faze the new student.
“Well,” he said with thought through breathe, ‘it’s not all that simple, it really was a long trip, I mean it happened in stages….”
[A pause, as Augusto took a swallow.]
(The professor now leaned against his podium, putting his forearms down on its wooden side frame; his lecture was stopped for the most part and he knew it, which was originally on the 8th continent [Lemuria: which was to have stretched from Easter Island to Tahiti, to Fiji and onto Guam and beyond, and over to Hawaii]. He was going to explore the Maya culture and the Egyptian and try to mix it in with Lemuria. It was all lost now, the South Pacific per se was his domain to talk about, he had spent 26-years on Easter Island, during his summer breaks, and was always delighted to start his program out on the history of this area adding his exploits to the learning process, and this Augusto had just taken it away.)
Said the professor [emphatically], “Were you were about to say something Mr. Moaio?”
[Blinking.] “The Mu-men were once a great ape society, giants if you will (the professor quickly added, ‘Like King Kong I suppose?’ but Augusto just continued to talk without stopping). In consequence, they were given a Gravity-reinforcer, what you might call a membrane around a cell, but it was put around the chromosomes of the Mu-men, allowing their chromosomes to withstand their breakage so easily. And in time they were even given an additional chromosome. Again I repeat myself, allowing longer life for the Mu-men.
The collapsing of the chromosomes was the big fault the aliens from Mercury had concluded. Thereafter, their life span jumped up fifteen if not twenty-five years, and as time proceeded they would gain even a longer life span, once acquiring better eating habits, disease control, along with better hygiene. I do agree with you professor with the size of the continent, although it was a bit larger (the professor gave a limped smile).
The Mu-men were self producing, in essence, they kind of laid eggs in reproducing themselves. And by the continued aid from the two alien races, they acquired both sex organs, and started to cohabitate with humans. Actually capturing them and bringing them to their abodes as they felt a need to, or out of necessity for offspring that might be more humanoid like. As a result, the alien races decided to stop the so called experiment; of course to the disappointment of the Mu-men. Let me add, the Mu-men were now a distorted bunch of creatures: some with three eyes, and feet that looked like ducks so they could walk backwards or forwards, some even sideways. In addition, they had a small cranial, possible that of the Neanderthal, or even Homo erectus. But he or they did become a new species, and that was what they wanted.”
As Augusto stopped to catch his breathe, the professor noticed his brow ridges were pronounced over his eyes (he hadn’t noticed them before being so), it was as if he was of an old age; for he concluded, age, thickens the brows, and drops the jaw bone, thus he must be very old, but he was young looking in all fairness.
The Professor [losing confidence under Augusto’s stare] said, “Continue please,” digging his fingers into the wood of the podium stand.
[Cooley.] “Well,” he continued with a dry mouth, but steady voice, “they had little brains compared to us, one could say. But great was their supernatural willpower; that is to say, they could move objects unbelievable heavy. Things large cranes today could not move.”
[Suspiciously.] The professor looked up to the ceiling as if to stop Augusto from talking for a moment—showing a bit of world-weariness, and want to insert his two-cents worth, thus, saying as he lowered his head, “No, no, now do you really think we are to believe this, I mean, move what, show us, I mean point to an example so we can scientifically …”
[Augusto now interrupts. He rings off despondently.] “I was about to explain, if you will let me Professor [a pause, limited to a moment] the Mu-men moved great stones with the clap of an eye, how they acquired this ability was a mixture of their hybrid genetic breeding I would imagine. They were quite primitive you know, and had four arms at one time. And for your dates, I’d say it was 17,694 BC when they became completely a jawboned bipedal human, yet let me not forget to include for your information, they remained still linked to the ancestry of the two limbed Lotus Demon [of Mercury] now, they carried their blood through these developing stages of trying to become closer to the humanoid species. And then around 13,500 BC, the war started with Atlantis.”
“Honesty,” said the professor, “my gosh, now we got Atlantis in this so called thesis, and a two limbed demon, what next?”
Two limbed Lotus Demon
Said the professor with a speculative eye, “It seems to me you are grabbing at fragments of unwritten, mythological history, legends if you will, adding them to your recipe of anthropological gobbledygook, and with a slice of interplanetary jargon; and thinking we are to swallow it whole?”
Augusto (with a tortured mind trying to convince the professor ((magnanimously))—assured himself he’d give it one more try), “Professor [he said], a large object, possible several miles across struck the planet Mercury, this smashing into the planet caused immense waves of superheated vapor that rolled for hundreds of miles, killing everything in its path, thus the Mercurynites sought out another haven, earth. The impact was so devastating it caused a tidal wave sending millions of tons of dust and vapor into its atmosphere, which darkened a side of the planet; in a similar manner the very thing that took place on earth. The creatures of Mercury are in our blood.” Augusto had to imply the word ‘us,’ instead of ‘him,’ so as to not cause alarm.
Mercury’s Demise
At that very moment Augusto sat down in his chair, closed his eyes, and folded his hands [somewhat despairingly]. The Professor noticed now he had long finger nails—so the professor had just noticed—with a lofty high head of red hair, again something that just occurred to him, and his groin area bulged out as if he had an overgrown penis. All concerned, he was looking [He being: the Professor] at the rest of the class to see if they had noticed the transformation of this young student’s bodily configuration—and to no avail, they all seemed quite content to carry on with listening to the dialogue between the two, without an iota of any x-ray appearances taking place. Thus, he rubbed his eyes and wiped his glasses, but it was more than that. He tried to place this person into a gap of time, pre-historic epoch, relating him to mankind’s ancestors, like: Australopithecus, Homo Habilis or Home erectus, for he was shape changing in x-ray vision in front of him with such features, yet his height remained the same. Possibly he was seeing layers of this person, his ancestry layers, along with bazaar alien layers also, such as: skull, lower jaw, ribs, and vertebrae and limb fragments, ex-ray configurations. He was no paleontologist, but he knew what he saw in the fossil findings of early man, and he knew anatomy quite well. And he concluded he was witnessing 40,000-years in a moment’s time.
As Augusto closed his eyes, he held his hands against his frontal lobe, he chanted something beyond recognition, the professor could hear his heart beat, it was like the thumping of hoof beats—hoof beats coming louder and louder; the professor became speechless, almost as if in a trance. To break the silence the professor said, “It is all still a mystery; just, just a damn mystery…” but at the end of the last word the five story building started to shift off its concrete foundation, brick by brick it loosened and lift its home base—lifted up several inches from its groundwork. Then the young man opened his eyes, a flat look on his face, his teeth grinding, eyes bloodshot like a gorilla’s, a Great Ape’s.
Said the young man with a tarnished and rustic voice, one not quite like the Professor had heard a few minutes ago: “Mysteries are not meant to be completely sold for the price of curiosity, they all have a heavier price than one normally wants to pay, and should you wish to seek out all it has to offer, you will have to pay the price.” It was a statement not a question. It was as if the lad was giving the professor a choice of some kind (we also must remember the building is still standing several inches in the air and throughout the hallways and classrooms people are thinking an earthquake just took place and are running wildly about.) But let me continue with the shrewd professor—so he thinks he is.
“Mysteries, the mind, the why’s, they belong to people like me, who have studied all their life to seek them out; the layman knows not how to handle such things, it is the scientist who deserves the discovery.” The young man just looked [eagerly] at the professor as if he may get his wish. Then [breathlessly] crashing through the door was the Dean, he had ran from classroom to classroom, but when he came upon Professor EE’s room [as he was often called] he was stunned to see everyone still sitting calmly, and the professor at the podium still having a discussion, or so it looked like it to him.
“Are you mad Professor EE, get this classroom out of harms way, get them outside, we’re in the middle of an earthquake!” then he ran uncontrollably out of the room to warn the adjacent class. At that moment, that very moment, the class seemed to have gotten out of its fog and stumbled to the door, all left, but the professor and the young man, whom remained stationary in the same positions they had been for the past hour, with their ongoing dialogue.
“Ah!” said Augusto [fiercely], “there is a Mecca of possibilities Professor!” The professor knew beyond a doubt he was with some kind of ancient being; possible a shape-changer, things were too weird, the whole day was too eerie. The building now fell back roughly onto its foundation, but was still not stable, it was leaning, and some of floors and stairways had broken and sunk onto the lower floor; it would take a miracle to put it back into place; it would have to be rebuilt.
The Professor [astounded] asked, “Where are you from?” now having changed his style and tone of voice.
“From the third cataclysm of Atlantis and the one wherein Mu sank, and Atlantis survived; as it had twice before tasted near-extinction, calamities as you would have it. The forth cataclysm it sank completely, those who survived, were scattered around the world. The residue of Mu was scattered around the world likewise, I helped build the Gran Saposoa in the Amazon jungle, lost to humanity for 2000-years. I seen two Ice Ages come and go; I witnessed the warm airs of Europe pass over to North America when there was no Greenland to subdue it. I witnessed the Geological North Pole move from the Northwest Passage to where it is today. I was one of the first Chahopoyas natives. It’s been an interesting life to say the least.” A sneer again appeared on the professor’s face, Augusto knew he’d have to prove it, but should he it would have to be—aggravatingly. It was one thing to show his powers in levitation, another to say you were over 13,000-years old.
“Excuse me Professor,” said Augusto, “just how much proof do you want of me, to scornfully prove, the Mu-man lives on in me?” Now Augusto’s body became like an x-ray again, but with beams radiating from it. But the professor, arrogantly would not except this manifestation as proof he was as old as he claimed or personified in [with] his materializations; and Augusto could not go beyond this without harming himself, or for that matter, without returning to his old genetic half-human like species, the one he left behind so long ago; changeability was not on his menu like his grandfather’s before him: it would be his obliteration, he had chromosomes now that would never break, he could live possibly 20,000-years should he care for himself properly. (You could hear the fire engines, and the police cars now outside ((below)); the authorities wondering what had, and was taking place, while these two men remained standing in the same place, same position they had now for, let’s say an hour and a half. Then just as the professor began to laugh, a little stiffly he became, his bones were receptive to the new developments inside his skin; his chromosomes: his twenty-third lost its vitality—his face looked as it had gone mad, his chin drooping with old age, distorted; he was developing long lived hormones, he was separating from the Homo sapiens, more within the genera of Australopithecus, with features closer to the Neanderthal, thus he was becoming a living fossil, if you will: close to the looks of Homo erectus. His large brow ridges now rested over his eyes, made him look a thousand years old, a build-up of bone over the eye socks that were so pronounced he could not look straight up at the ceiling as he did before; his feet were like a ducks, he must had been nine feet tall now, with a three eyes, two new arms growing, facial distortions, worse than homo erectus; a primitive human species beyond his imagination, more like the Murcerynites. His brain capacity was lowered, he couldn’t think quickly, and when he did think and try to hold the thought, he forgot it even quicker, but he had a stronger will now, but didn’t know how to use it. He would soon find out, he couldn’t change his body back to how it was. Augusto had learned how to transform into another comatose body, and when that person died of old age, he’d shift into another. But this freak of nature, as the professor would soon be, would be subject to all the sciences the world had to offer. He would never have peace.
That is when Augusto stood up, walked out of his the classroom, never to return; for the shrewd professor could not speak a language anymore, just some sounds, gestures, and he became the talk of the decade, until he committed suicide.
